Change is Gonna Come

     So as I mentioned in one of my posts I re-evaluated the path that I am on.  I think I have told all of the people I should tell so now I can tell everyone at once.  I will not be going back for my second year of law school, but will rather be pursuing my Masters degree in Communications back in Pittsburgh.  I know that is pretty shocking to hear for the people who really, really know me - trust me it was partially shocking for me as well. 
   You see I made up my mind when I was 12 that I was going to become a prosecutor.  I was always passionate -and to be honest still am passionate- about the work that they do.  But, right now I'm not sure its the work I want to do.  There were warning signs all over the place this year, but since I invested so much as well as didn't want to "quit" I didn't want to give it up.  Then I had a wonderful conversation with one of my old professors that made me realize, I'm not quitting anything, I'm basically just changing my majors.  So after some more soul searching I realized Joseph Campbell was right when he said "You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you." So that's what I'm doing.
       It was always graduate HS, go to college, graduate, go to law school, graduate, pass the bar and practice.  For the first time in a long time I honestly don't know what path I'm on - and you know what, that's ok.  I was always planning on getting my Masters so that one day I could teach.  So that's what I'm focusing on.  Eventually I'll get my Ph. D.  Eventually I'll become a professor.  Other than that who knows, not me.  I mean for all I know my path might eventually lead me back to law school - If it does, so be it.  For right now though I wasn't truly happy and I'm too young to be unhappy.  Sure there are plenty of people my age who are working jobs they never envisioned for themselves, but the economy sucks and they won't be there forever.  Sometimes you have to do whatever to pay the bills and that's fine.  What isn't fine is being complacent in a career that is sucking the life out of you or getting a degree just because you feel you should finish.
     While I could be freaking out because a Comm. degree leaves you open to so many different paths I'm actually excited and relieved.  There are so many jobs I can take or so many ways I can use my degree.  I felt so claustrophobic having everything set for me.  Now if I want to travel or move I can without having to worry about whether or not I can practice in a certain state.  If I want to do a study abroad or a program where you volunteer for a year I can. I just feel more creative, energized and happy.  That's part of the reason why I started this blog - to release some of the thoughts that have been being suppressed as well as because I know how important this is becoming in the Comm realm.
  I wouldn't change this year for anything.  I learned a lot.  I made wonderful friends and I lived in a great city, I loved my apartment.  I picked up, followed my heart and basically jumped off a cliff while leaving my safety net behind.  If I didn't leave for this I really don't know if I would have ever had the courage to leave Pittsburgh.  And God knows I love that city, but I needed to see that there was more out there than the sea of black and gold.  While the first year of law school stuff will always help me make decisions in the future, what I learned was so much more about that.  I have always been independent, but this made me even more so.  I learned many things by trial and error and had the opportunity to live alone, something I recommend for anyone - even tho there were some nights where I saw a bug, couldn't reach something, broke something, or heard a noise and immediately wanted to go out to find a husband.
    I also always knew I had a supportive system in my family and friends back home, but the fact that they supported me both leaving and coming back I know how lucky I am to have them.  While I'm sure many are just happy I'm coming home I know they are all happy that I'm doing what I feel is right.  I am also thankful for the friends I made in Charlotte.  There are some people I could not have survived the year without.  I know I am lucky to have a select few who I will still keep in touch with after I move back to Pittsburgh & anywhere else I might move.   There wasn't one person who hasn't supported me and for that I am eternally grateful.  What they say really is true, those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. 
    So I hope if you are afraid to make a decision because you don't want to make a leap, make a mistake, or because you are afraid of what others think do yourself a favor, look deep into your heart if you are not happy and there is something you can do to make yourself happy do it.  If you are worried about what others think forget about them (gotta keep this PG here).  Life is too short to be unhappy.
    MH

All We Need is Love

   I know that I have been blogging a lot the past few days, but you cannot time when a current event will happen so I felt it necessary to get this post off my chest. 

  


  I think that one of the biggest problems plaguing our society is that everything has to be black or white, right or wrong, but that's not how life is. I mean just think of nature - how can we explain dusk?  Or the times when it is both raining and sunny all at the same time? Not everything can fit into a tidy little box no matter how hard we try.  One of the things that will  never be cut and dry is the definition of love.  Go to your nearest bookshelf and pull out your dictionary - ok who am I kidding, type dictionary.com into your browser- and search for the term love.  Chances are you will find a definition that might be able to fit one of your relationships. The better bet though is that these clean cut definitions don't even come close to expressing the true emotion of love.  Since you or I or the authors of the dictionary cannot come up with just one definition of love that fits every relationship, how could we possibly say that love is something that cannot happen between two men or two women?


     Last night New York made me proud. They voted for and gave rights to the gays of their state to allow them to get married.  What I am saying in this post will never be as profound as what someone who is gay, more specifically a gay New Yorker, can say about being victorious in gaining a civil right that they should have already had.  I am a white, Christian, heterosexual, middle class, female who grew up in the suburbs.  Minus maybe the female characteristic I really don't know what it is like to be a minority or statistic -at least for a long period of time.  Yet, I am human.  I feel empathy.  I realize that I have a duty to fight injustices that I see.  Maybe you are sitting here thinking, "why?  If its not your problem, then it's not your problem."  In reality though as I have said before and will say it again - until everyone is free from inequality than nobody will truly be free from inequality.  While I may never fully comprehend the pain that a gay couple has felt when they were not allowed to get married I can feel the joy both for them as well as for the step in the right direction for equality for everyone.


    I have been fortunate to have some wonderful people in my life who happen to be gay.  They are some of the best people I know, the kindest, the most honest.  They have come from all walks of life and backgrounds. They are active, intelligent, positive members of our society.  They are professionals who give back to the community.  It would kill me to know that one of these lovely individuals - who have so much love and compassion to give - could not get married just because society feels that this particular form of love doesn't fit into the institutional mold that has been created.  


     Countless people have tried to come up with argument after argument for why a gay marriage shouldn't stand. I hold no value to the arguments against gay marriage and do not want to entertain the hateful thoughts by mentioning them, but to show how little validity there is here are the most common.  The main argument - that is at least always underlying - is that gay marriage will undermine the sanctity of marriage.  Unfortunately marriage is not always sacred anymore.  If you get hitched stats are against you as 50% of the population ends up signing divorce papers.  Even more than that, not all marriage is religious.  I could go out, find a guy in Vegas and tie the knot all in one night.  That's about as sacred as a gold-digger marrying for money.   I believe in separation of Church and State.  I feel that the State should leave religion out of it and give all gays the civil RIGHT of marriage.  Considering the state allows divorce, something the Church does not support, it is clear that the State recognizes the divide and therefore should do it equally across the board.


      Another common argument is that gay couple will just get married to get the other's benefits (health, life, etc.).  First of all who really wants to get married just for benefits? Better yet who would want to give their benefits to someone who they didn't love? While I still have some faith in humanity I hope the answer is nobody.  Besides that why -is it fair for heterosexual couples to get away with it then?  I currently don't have health insurance. What's to stop me from going out and finding the first guy with a good health plan and 401K and propositioning him to marry in return for me cooking, cleaning & preforming other wifely duties?  Nothing.  Nobody would think twice.  And do people really think that is what the fight is about?  No.  It is about true love and wanting to express that love and have the same rights as their counterparts while doing so. These are just two of the idiotic, ignorant arguments against gay marriage.  I refuse to mention anymore, but as you can see I easily came up with counterarguments and could do so for every single argument that I hear/read.  


    There are somedays where I truly believe that I will never get married.  Realistically I know that I will, but the thought is sometimes overwhelmingly scary.  The fact that I have to make the decision to pick one man for the rest of my life scares me when I can't even make a decision what to have for dinner or where to go on the weekend.  The fact that I will be committed to one person for the rest of my life also scares me to death, especially since I do not believe in divorce.  How can I guarantee that the other person truly doesn't believe in divorce either?  The fact that I will have to depend on someone or always have them around or to "answer to" scares me as well considering I am used to being independent.  I have seen marriages both young and old crumble.  I have seen people get married for the wrong reasons.  Yet, every once in awhile I see love so true that it makes me hopeful.  I see this victory for gay marriage to be a beacon of hope.  Couples who are truly in love will now be given the opportunity to express their love in the way they wanted - legally.  I only see positive that can come from this because love is contagious.  When you see two people in love you want to feel that too.  You instantly feel happy.  Because in the end love is love. While no definition can adequately explain it feeling in your heart love is what makes life worth living.  I look forward to all the long overdue "I do's" and I look forward to those who are truly in love showing those who take marriage for granted what true love and commitment means.  Love see's no limits and I'm glad that New York doesn't either.


XOXO & best wishes to all the couples out there - gay & straight!  MH

Fabulous Friday Favorites

So this is the first few of my fabulous friday favorite finds.  When you find a great thing, might as well share :)  I do apologize in advance for some not so great photo quality shots, I waited until late to take the pictures so low light + iPhone does not always equal pro shots.

The other day I went to the mall with my friend.  We stopped into Aldo Accessories and came out with a few new favorites.  I couldn't find any of these accessories on-line to link to so feel free to hit up your local store.

I think I look terrible in hats, butttt every once in awhile miracle happens.  This one is one of those miracle hats.  It took some persuading from my friend, but the hat left with me:

Hat from Aldo

I used to never ever wear sunglasses, but they are the perfect accessory, help keep your eyes healthy, and keep you from having the sun in the eyes look 24/7.  

Sunglasses from Aldo

Sunglasses are also perfect for one of my favorite activities, walking around the city.  I love cities.  I could never move away from the city.  I took this picture down by the Bank of America Stadium.

The southern heat is something I still am getting used to.  So what better way to cool off than some iced coffee?  My Keurig will forever be one of my favorite things.  This flavor is my current favor.  I like to switch it up though so I'm sure I will have a new favorite the next time I order.

K-cup French Vanilla Iced Coffee

Another forever favorite will be Liliana Shoes.  I just love this brand.  I would buy all of their shoes if I could.  Unfortunately, they don't currently have a direct website for individual sales, but you can find them all over the web.  Amazon knows how to help a sista out and had these little gems available.  Only pair - my size - it would have been a slap in the shoe fairy Godmother's face to pass these up.

Liliana Kathy Heels

The last of my Friday favorites is the book I'm reading One Day.  Technically it isn't "new."  My bff Danielle loaned it to me on the plane coming home from our Vegas trip - back in February.  The thing about planes is that I people watch more than do anything productive, sooo I'm finally getting around to it.  I'm not done, but so far Danielle has never loaned me a book I didn't like so I can safely recommend it.

Have any Friday finds or favorites you want to pass on?  Let me know!  Let me know if you try any of these favorites :)

MH

Anticipation

Todays post is actually an announcement for tomorrow's post.  It's something I have been wanting to get started and will happen every Friday.  It is going to be my favorite things.  Some weeks I will highlight my favorite blogs or websites.  Some weeks it will be my favorite thing that happened that week.  Some weeks it will be a picture.  The possibilities are endless.  I'm excited because some day I can look back on this and I'm sure laugh at some of my favorite things and I'm also excited because I love finding a new favorite from a recommendation so maybe I can help one of you find a favorite! Tune in tomorrow for the first weekly post: hint - first day of summer- hint.

MH

Chicken Dance

 So maybe it's because it is the first day of summer which means it is officially wedding season.

OR

Maybe its because I know of a few weddings coming up.

OR

Maybe it's because I got rid of my cable meaning I have been watching DVDs I own such as the One Tree Hill (specifically the Nayle wedding episode), Dear John, and Nights Rodanthe - all emotional romances.

OR

Maybe it's because my best friend, Sarah, will be married TWO years from today.

OR

Maybe it's because the newly-wed Prince & Princess will be making their way across the pond pretty soon.

OR

Maybe it's because every time I log onto Facebook someone is engaged.

Whatever the case I have weddings on my mind.  I promise there will not be any ring on this girls finger anytime soon.  Butttttt that doesn't mean I can't indulge in the fun.  I mean when you are actually getting married you have to pay attention to little things such as budgets or practicality.  

Before a wedding there has to be a proposal.  I have seen some good ones recently.  Flash mob's seem to be the thing to do this year.  But I really think that this video could be the best proposal ever.  Keep in mind he must have had the forethought to start this long before the actual proposal.  You can check out the Vimeo account to see the video and get for info.  Before you click below you might wanna go grab a Kleenex.

Video from YouTube

If I get married someday I guarentee that there will be sequins and glitter - all in a classy way (well as classy as you can with sequins.  Which is why I LOVE this pic I found on A Beautiful Mess (check out the blog- this blogger made a stunning bride).    I actually own similar nail poilsh in gold as well as a silverish/blue so LOVE. 

Photo from A Beautiful Mess

And then there is the actual wedding day.  This is a cool wedding video.  You can check out the video & info on the Vimeo account.

Video from YouTube

And what would a wedding post be without me telling you to watch this music video if you haven't seen it yet.  If you don't have time to sit down for a 2 hour romance movie watch this:

From YouTube

If your special day is coming up Congrats!  If you have yet to find your prince charming (or princess) know that they are out there.  Until then you have no budget so you can dream away ;)

oXoX

  MH

Boys of Fall

Wonder if Cam Newton will get to play here this year?

So some people have asked my opinion on the lockout -NFL for anyone who somehow has avoided hearing about this.  I really didn't want to write this post because I honestly feel that since I'm not a party involved I really shouldn't speak of it.  Yes, I will be disappointed if I cannot see my beloved Steelers play this fall, but the world will still spin and I will be more productive as I will no longer have a reason to consume beer on a Sunday.  Like I said, I will miss it, but that is nothing in comparison to the people who have a stake in this deal.  With that disclosure being said I do have an opinion, here it goes.

The first people who are going to suffer are the players.  While I really feel for all of them I really feel for three specific groups.  Those who are at the end of their career.  Maybe their "prime" was a few years ago, but they wanted to give it one more go.  It would be sad for them to fade away instead of going out in the glory they deserve.  Using the Steelers for example, I feel Hines Ward has a few more solid years & hopefully another ring in him.  But with a year off they are seriously taking time away from him.  Potential records.  I also feel bad for those players who are either between teams or new draftees.  Take Cam Newton.  The words "with the first pick in the 2011 draft the Carolina Panthers select Cam Newton" potentially set Newton up for the year of his life.  Yet, he cannot fully enjoy this like he deserves.  He can't go through his rookie year like all those in front of him did.  Lastly, I feel for the players at the lower end of the salary cap.  I mean could you afford to just take a year off?  And for all players I hope that any portion of the lock out does not open them up to injuries since they will have less time to practice as a team or get warmed up for the season as a team with their regular trainers.

A year off is expensive to everyone; players, owners, coaches, cities, all the stadium workers, etc.

But I think there are ripple effects that won't be known or that cannot be charted.  Say there is a season.  Somewhere in the country a dad (grandparent, mom, uncle, etc.) is going to take his little son (daughter, nephew, sister, etc.) to an NFL game.  The little boy is going to be beaming all week until Sunday when they drive down to the stadium.  Sure it will be sensory overload for this lil fellow.  But they will go into the stadium.  All bundled in a winter coat he will eat a hot dog most likely getting some ketchup on his already rose-colored nose while his father drinks an over priced beer.  The game will be close and just when they little boy might be getting antsy it will happen - the play.  The play will probably make the top 10 on sportscenter that night.  It will be the play that will forever bond father & son.  It will be a play that the generation talks about for years to come.  More so it will be the play that will make the little boy fall in love with the game.  Right then and there - in the midst of cheering and hooting and hollering - he will decide that he wants to make those plays someday.  Right then and there a future Hall of Famer will be born.  Of course many of the NFL players today learned to love the game in a different way or are born with the talent, but you have to wonder how many fall in love with the game in this very way.  By having the lockout some kid might not fall in love with the game.  By having the lockout some father-son (mother-daughter, etc) might miss out on memories like this.

Let's Hope We Get to See this in 2011

I honestly feel if this deal was worked out in a bar somewhere it would have been done by now.  Here's to hoping both sides are able to reach a deal soon. HERE WE GO.

MH

Cross Road

As long as you make it to the top, does anything else matter?

I'm sure you all have heard some variation of Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken at some point in your life.  If not it goes something like "two roads diverged and I took the one less traveled ant that has made all the difference."  I'm sure that isn't spot on, but this post is actually directly from my heart, soul, and mind so a Google search isn't necessary.  I believe Frost was right, it does make a difference to take a path that is unique.  You will learn far more about life, yourself, etc. as well as allow you to have experiences that you otherwise would not get if you were comfortable, complacent, or just like everyone else. 

I think though that some times we get caught up in the sense that there is only one path.  I don't think that's true.  It doesn't have to be so black and white.  I have been doing a lot of thinking and am making a life change.  The change will come out more in the future, but for now I still have a few people close to me who I want to tell in person so I don't want to announce it here.

Regardless of my life position this can be applied to everyone at any time.  I'm a visual person so it was actually thinking of this imagery where I had an ahh ha moment.  Back in middle school they had us climb walls.  It can be walls, trees, or mountains, but the lesson is all the same.  Sometimes when climbing up you have to move back down ever so slightly just so you can get a new path.  Sometimes you have to move in a horizontal position a few times before you can move back up. This allows you to change your perspective as well.  What is important here is that the end game is still the same.  You want to get to the top.  You still are on the right path to get to the top, you just might to have changed your position ever so slightly.

I always loved this pic I took in Dormont, PA

When you are climbing a tree you don't look at changing to a different branch to be a huge difference.  You just see it as a means to the end to get to the top.  Yet in "real life" whether it be with our relationships, careers, etc. we sometimes see a change as completely going off course.  In the end though a change is just a way to help you get to the top.  It doesn't mean you abandoned a certain path it just means you are doing what you need to do to be happy.  And in the end, whether it is being happy in your "path" or being happy because you get the amazing view that the hill, mountain, wall, or tree provides, all that matter is that you are happy, challenged yourself, and got to the top of your path even if it meant taking a step in a different direction. So I challenge you; if you currently are not happy in the path that you are taking make a few changes and I bet, you still will reach the top.

MH

On the Coast of Somewhere Beautiful

     If I had unlimited resources I would travel 300 days out of the year. I love everything about traveling.  There are some people that get homesick or cranky after traveling, but I just find it so exciting.  There are millions of places all over the world and I want to see them all.  Since I was not born an European aristocrat I sometimes live vicariously and plan future trips which realistically will probably never happen.

      Another guilty pleasure, I like to look up apartments, condos and houses to live in.  The polar opposite of a guilty pleasue for me - moving.  So since I lack the bank account of an aristocrat as well as distain for moving into a new place I also vicariously look at houses. 
 
    While I enjoy both of these things I felt the need to write about them because I have been doing both a lot recently.  The vacation topic of course came up because its summer.  Also because of this video (thank you youtube):

I saw a clip of it on TV and fell in love with the location (love the song too by the way) and decided right then and there that this is where I am going to have my honeymoon.  So my proposal someday will go like this "Mallory will you marry me?"  Me: "Yes, with the condition that our honeymoon is in bora bora."  --Lets hope mystery man gets a good price on the ring ;)  Maybe the two of us will make our own video to Marry Me, Marry You, or Lets get Married - just a thought.

I also finally watched part of the royal wedding.  Maybe its because I'm an extremely patriotic American, maybe its because I'm jealous that there are no princes in America to marry, maybe its because I wasn't waking up at 4 am to watch it, and maybe its because I have a short attention span which was used up by the overkill from the media, but yes, I only just watched it.  I now have a deep desire to go to Europe and more specifically go to any of the places they showed in the coverage because they were just gorgeous.  Yes, I have seen the places before, but I think the romantic-ness of the wedding made the landmarks that much more glamorous.  Besides an upgrade to my bank account I need an upgrade to my wardrobe, those Brits sure are posh.

This year I got to live in a different city and while I did feel at home since it was still "new" it often felt like I was on vacation.  I also got to go on "vacation" when I would go "home" to Pittsburgh since I was so far away for most of the year.

Being a tourist in Charlotte - I took this at the Epicenter

      My most recent vacation was to Vegas right after new years.  My winter break had me flying from CLT - PIT - LAS - PIT - CLT.  A bit crazy, but more than worth it.  I went with 3 best friends and it was more than perfect.  There is just something so exotic about Vegas. Unlike a typical hotspot Vegas has something for everything as well as plenty of things you have never seen before.

Perfect way to kick of vacay

Almost a year ago I went to the beach and am now yearning to go back.  There is just something so majestic about the ocean. 

I need to get there ASAP!

The number one place I want to visit is Austrailia.  I'm not sure why, but it has also appealed to me.  I am also "one of those" who want to go to every state in the US at some point in my life.  Being Polish & German I want to check out those countries at some point.  I also feel that you should always know your neighbors so Canada must happen.

But it looks like I will be stuck in landlocked Charlotte for a bit.  Oh well the best part about "imaginary" trips: no budget.  Off to window shop some vacations.

Safe travels to you this summer.